Unmotivated

Yesterday night Audrey just suddenly drop by my MSN to say Hi...
but we chat more than just a hi, Im asking about her job and she telling about how the Westin bitch does...
Ok, the bitch is not important, the important thing is I realize people thinking was always the one who affect people in every aspect, physically, psychologically.

You might felt motivated and want to prove you are the best after some bitches do something to make you down...
But not always worked that way...
You might felt tired of fighting, unmotivated and defeat by those bitches...

I promise that I'm trying hard to protect all my members...
However, now I'm out of energy to protect them...
Instead of fight back, I let the black lady to boom me without fighting back...
I'm tired...
Because I'm unmotivated now...
I still thinking to motivate the members with the failed brilliant idea...
However, I fail to implement it...
Now I'm feel I'm unmotivated while i still try hard to motivate others...
Sorry to say that I give up in everything about this psychologically...
Because I really don't care about it anymore...
However, I felt this is not me...

I really shouldn't wear this big hat since I really don't have a big head...
Now this hat cover my face, I can't see anything in front, cause me fall into accident...
Which hurt me so much...
I'm in an accident...

我的心真的受伤了。。。

Culture

Many people may not see culture as a big thing...
However, culture was just a so big influence in our life...
When you are forced to work with people with different culture, you will know that is so difficult...
I really can't work with them, I swear I tried...
And now, I'm tired to tried...
We are just so different...
We have different way of talking and thinking and even, style of working...
I'm not satisfy you and you are not able to work with me...

I admit i have problem as well...
I did not pay 100% effort in it...
Because I'm fed up...

I'm straight in everything, especially when talking...
I don't like to turn around only reach the main point...
I hope this is my only problem...
Felt myself just so bad...

I'm not a good leader...

Today, I'm thinking did I really do the right thing?
I felt that I did not solve the problem properly, or I should say I do not know how to solve.
I felt people viewing me in a different way already.
Now I can't even believe myself compare to others.
What I'm doing now?
This question was come towards me today every second.
I did not lost faith on you but on myself only.
Maybe I'm just not suitable.
Thinking of exchange position.
I was like running away from the problem but I need a break and clear mind to decide.
I just hate myself why I want to take this position.
Thinking of disappear for a few days.
Just want back my normal life.
I though I could stand for pressure but now I know I can't.
Feel so emo.
Totally doesn't know what I'm doing this sem and I don't know what I'm doing right now.

The feel might be good If I could sit under a tree and just do nothing.

Waiter

I dont know why...
I like to be a waiter...
Recently accept quite a few jobs as waiter...
Of course, with high salary... haha...
But i enjoy the job...
I might end up with F&B department maybe...
However, I'm considering in sales as well...
Because of last internship experience in Pan Pac...
But I know not all the hotel doing the same thing although same department...
I fall in love in event, but this sem event make me headache...
Of course, all is because of human problem...
Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the event here...
Just wish after advanced diploma i can get a high salary job to save money go UK...
That is my current aim now...
I just hope my wish was not too hard to come true...
My dream department for my future career...
F&B, Banquet, Sales & Marketing, Event, Communications & Catering Sales

Headache

The most headache issue during this event is human relation management...
This is a problem where everyone would come across...
However, I dont know what can i do to fix it...
Im tired of others things and now give me 1 more new problem to solve...
If there is a person willing to hold back, it will be peace...
Human is like that, they dont want to be the people who lose something but they dint think that they lose something and gain a lot...
Why so care about the little and forget about the big benefit?
Sorry, I gonna be strict right now and is a cause from all of your action...
Please dont made me do something even cruel that you would ever think...
Because you wont know what i will going to do, i can do something out of your expectation and you couldnt afford the effect of my action...
Please dont make me do this...

I need brain juices and good night sleep

Start my new sem...
New lecturer, although ms tiong is not new...
haha...
new assignment...
and new event...
im so excited to come across this event b4 i start this sem...
however, now im so tired of it...
my brain constraint, i cant sleep well every night...
i will be slim after this event for sure...
i got no fix meal time, 2 meals per day...
im start losing confident on myself...
Do i really can manage all this..
can i come out a fantastic event?
im suspecting on my ability...
looking forward how worst it will be...
i dont want it to be worst...
im killing my brain juices currently without any reasons...
thinking of something useless...
i should use my brain juices in a correct manner..
i hope i can really come out a great event...
i hope everyone satisfy on me...
i hope i wont disappoint anyone...
i hope i can...
i hope....

从返校园

明天就要回去学校了...
最想念的还是我那些天真无邪(恶心),可爱活泼(作呕),聪明伶俐的同学们。。。
怀念大家的精湛演技（当每次有role play时）。。。
最令我开心的是，第一天上的课是我们最敬爱的PR老师。。。
哈哈哈。。。
想念她那开得起玩笑的说话方式。。。
希望可以快点有assignment，那我就有事情做了。。。
期待看见大家。。。